It’s Not Messy: Why We Should All Be Having Period Sex!

I read a statistic recently that nearly sent me into a state of anaphylactic shock—85% of women say they’re less likely to engage in sexual activity during their periods. At first glance I was like, “okay someone call the cops, is having period sex illegal?” Because that’s the only explanation I could come up with as to why so many women aren’t having sex for an entire week a month (give or take). And then… like a vision.. I remembered that for the first 7 years of my sexually active life I refrained from sex during my period too. Amazing how our brains can so effortlessly just block out traumatic years of our lives am I right?

Part of my abstinence stemmed from confusion about my body, but the main culprit was none other than my own insecurity. I didn’t know what sex would feel like on my period, and most of all I didn’t want my partners to melt at the sight of my blood… or whatever happens when you bring up your period to a man who’s frontal lobe hasn’t yet developed. I lacked the confidence in my sex life to explore my own body and therefore held off in experimenting until I found myself in a sexual relationship I found confidence in. When I brought up having sex on my period to my partner, he reacted just as I’d told myself all men would. He said that it would be “too messy” and he “would feel like he was hurting me.” Hahahahaha ha ha. Instead of having a conversation about how we could work together on a solution, I felt embarrassed and disgusted by my own body and refrained from bringing it up again until I was almost 24 years old. 

Looking at my own history, it makes sense that 85% of women say they refrain from intimacy during their periods. But we shouldn’t! Oh god we shouldn’t! Yes, there are plenty of times when I’d rather just straddle a heating pad than a man I’m addicted to. But overall there are a plethora of benefits for your body and relationship that stem from period sex. 

If I told you that orgasming did the same thing as 3 ibuprofen would you believe me? It’s being holistic, honey, try googling it maybe?! When you orgasm, your body releases oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin—all pain relieving endorphins that are proven to alleviate period related symptoms like cramps and migraines. If you have a flare for the dramatic I highly suggest screaming, “make me cum or I’ll die!” Just some friendly advice from yours truly!!

Having sex on your period may also reduce the length of your cycle. On average, women release about 2 tablespoons of blood over the course of their periods. When your muscles contract during sex, it’s likely you’ll experience increased blood flow— affecting the overall length of your menstruation.

Obviously we’re all well aware that our sex drives reach a peak during ovulation—our estrogen levels are their highest and mother nature is shouting “keep overpopulating our rapidly dying earth!” And we’re just like “no thanks mother nature, I’m going to take my birth control now.” Regardless of semantics, ovulation sex drive is undeniable. But period sex drive? When estrogen levels are their lowest? Honey, make it make sense! The reason you might feel your sex drive skyrocket during your period is because around this time of your cycle, you’ll get a short, tiny surge of testosterone—otherwise known as the hormone that famously makes men want to fuck 24/7.

Lastly, period sex means you’ll be less reliant on the use of lube because your body is naturally lubricating itself with a little extra fluid action. For the blood sensitive, remember, your body only releases 2 tablespoons of blood over the entire course of your period. That’s like how much olive oil is allowed per day on Weight Watchers. Most of what you’ll see during sex is other fluids associated with the shedding of your uterine lining. You are not bleeding to death. Appreciate the intensified lubrication and sensation!

Aside from biological benefits, having period sex can be really wonderful for your relationship as well. Psychologists say that vulnerability is a main contributor to intimacy, so when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with our partners about what we want, we’re only deepening these bonds. It goes without saying that sex is a two way, consensual street, though. Experimenting with new positions, in and out of the bedroom, that make both parties comfortable is essential. And fun! 

At its core, period blood during sex is “just another fluid, babe!” The benefits to sex during this time of the month outweigh the costs significantly (honesty, who cares if you get a little blood on your $16 Target Room Essentials sheets). But like all sexual relationships and experiences, it’s about doing what you want, when it feels good, with a partner who consents with your desires. PERIOD. 

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